Here’s Why Couples Who Argue, Love Each Other More
Arguing once a week helps couples have good communication. Numerous studies conducted in the United States show that couples who quarrel and argue with each other are more likely to stay together.
Psychologists think that this can happen for a number of reasons, the main one being that the argument allows the couple to focus on the issues that need to be addressed before they become too big and complex.
44% of the surveyed couples think that having an argument once a week helps good communication. The fact that they are discussing their disagreements on certain topics rather than immediately ending their relationship shows that their relationship is sustainable and they really want to stay together and make the relationship work. The dispute is their way to fight for their relationship.
Another study shows that arguments clearly show that people are interested in each other. When partners try to challenge the other’s point of view, they clearly signal that they have listened to the other side, by which they show respect for the opinion of the other party.
Experts are even of the opinion that permanent consent and harmony are more problematic for the couple than arguments and disputes. Family arguments act as a fuse against extreme outbreaks and possible cases of abuse. No matter how stormy they may be, it is best if they periodically occur. If partners repeatedly postpone the discussion of a problem, it is likely to escalate.
In order for the dispute to be constructive, several important aspects need to be addressed. First, no offensive words should be used. In no way should the partners say aloud offensive definitions that will affect the partner. In addition, it is forbidden to use lies to lubricate the situation, because after a while everything will be discovered.
Lastly, it is recommended not to make any unnecessary generalization that would cause the man or woman to stop the argument and subsequently end the relationship. Bringing up past issues is also not advisable. This very often leads to serious argument that can prove decisive for the relationship.
If you focus only on the current problem, you will find it easier to solve it. So, when you argue, avoid phrases such as:
“You always do this!”
“Yes, but do you remember when … (and retelling of a past story)”
“It’s always the same!”
Psychologists say there are a few rules to argue fair. The biggest rule, of course, is to focus only on the problem at hand. Past issues won’t help anyone.
So, bottling your feelings inside isn’t the best thing you can do. Your partner needs to know how you feel about something, so he/she can help you and you can both figure out the best solution for everyone. Also, it’s not fair to make yourself looks like a victim and your partner as the culprit.
But, always have in mind things like love, respect, compromise, trust and compassion. Keep everything in balance, and although it might take some time, you will get there with ease.